Gitcher Spitzer Socks Here! LuvGuv, Weiner & Lopez Make NYCers Look Like Fools By Michael R. Caputo

New York City residents take a dim view of Western New York. Let's face it: they think we are rubes. We drink too much sugary soda; we cling too much to our religion and guns. And, in reality, our elected representatives are just in the way in Albany. We're an unsophisticated lot, and we cry out for leadership by the far more enlightened Manhattan types.

Our men don't do mani-pedis, nor spend $110 on haircuts.

We probably don't even bathe often enough to get a table at Eleven Madison Park.

Now, those Manhattan types are showing us the kind of leadership they prefer: an obsessive compulsive Internet masturbator for Mayor and an admitted felon whoremonger tyrant for Comptroller. At least us rubes here in Buffalo would never even consider electing punchlines like Anthony "Wanker" Weiner and Eliot "Socks" Spitzer.

And this is hilarious: Assemblyman Vito "Gropez" Lopez, the serial sexual abuser, is running for New York City Council - and he could win!

So who's the rube now, New York City? These KY Jelly Candidates think you'll vote for them, and for good reason: You just might!

This is bawdy burlesque, at best, and even fashion designer Stacy Bendet is getting in on the act, ridiculing Spitzer's habit of wearing black socks during sex. His world-famous socks are even for sale - as a fundraiser for his election opponent, Kristin Davis, the cathouse madame who sent him escorts.

[UPDATE: Davis was arrested by the FBI on Monday for selling a wide variety of prescription pills to a drug dealer across several months. This just keeps getting weirder and weirder!]

At least Western New York will never see the kind of political fundraising in the video below. Or, maybe we should. You can't make this stuff up, you know. It's comedy gold. Who couldn't use another pair of black socks, anyway?

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